Table of Content: Sort out the three conversations -- Stop arguing about who's right: explore each other's stories -- Don't assume they meant it: disentangle intent from impact -- Abandon blame: map the contribution system -- Have your feelings (or they will have you) -- Ground your identity: ask yourself what's at stake -- What's your purpose?: when to raise it and when to let go -- Getting started: begin from the third story -- Learning: listen from the inside out -- Expression: speak for yourself with clarity and power -- Problem-solving: take the lead -- Putting it all together -- Ten questions people ask about difficult conversations -- A road map to Difficult conversations.